True Bloopers Game

Discussion in 'Campfire' started by Down on the White, Jan 19, 2008.

  1. Down on the White

    Down on the White Well-Known Member

    I am sure anyone of you may have a story of something foolish, funny or just sometimes plain stupid.

    I and two other co-workers was sent down to Unionville, La to work on a 8000 hp Clark engine and to help with other construction going in the yard. We was in the pumphouse working on the engine when we noticed this hammering going on I proceeded around the engine and there is this worker with a hammer and chisel trying to remove this inspection door. Larry comes around where I am at and we watch for just a few minutes. Finally Larry just could not stand it anymore and simply replied to the worker ( it would help if you take the bolts out and then you would be able to remove that inspection plate).:smack:
     
  2. flintknapper

    flintknapper Moderator/smokepole pimp

    As I was a mechanic in a previous part of my life, I get curious anytime I hear hammering and there ain't no carpentry going on. Monkeys with hammers = Big $$$ in repairs...

    lady here at work had moved her work station, and then her computer wouldn't work. She hollered for help, so I eyeballed the deal to see what happened. Everything was plugged in OK, except I noticed she had the power strip plugged into itself :smack:

    I had asked her earlier when she was setting it up if she needed an extension cord, she said "nah, I got a plug right here..." :cool:
     

  3. Sylamore

    Sylamore Super Moderator Staff Member

    Here are a few from Blanchard Springs Caverns:
    questions from tourists to the guides.

    A lady got on the elevator to go into the cavern... while riding the elevator she ask, "are we going up or down." :smack:

    Another frequent question is "how much of the cave is undiscovered." :smack:

    And here is a classic "Is there any danger of fire down here." "No Mame, solid rock will not burn." :smack:

    A guide leading a tour in the cavern, call his supervisor and said, "I need help a guy on my tour has broken his leg." Several persons well trained in first aid were rushed into the cavern to assist. The person had an artifical leg and it had broken. :smack:
     
  4. Down on the White

    Down on the White Well-Known Member

    One of our company engineer's was out in Oklahoma to look at a field site. As he was going in to this remote location he got stuck in the creek bottom. The only thing he had to hook the winch cable to was behind the truck. He pulled out the winch cable run it across the top of the cab. You can certianly guess the rest put a nice beautiful crease down the center of the cab about ten inches.:smack:
     
  5. popgun

    popgun Well-Known Member

    A close friend of mine was a night jailer at the Lonoke County Jail.
    One night he had a prisoner that had been really causing a lot of trouble all during the day.
    Sometime during the night the County Sheriff called to ask if that particular prisoner had calmed down yet.
    My friend told the sheriff that that prisoner was "dead to the world now" (meaning that he was sleeping)
    The Sheriff somehow got the wrong idea, and in about 20 minutes a doctor and the county coroner showed up along with the Sheriff close behind.
    My buddy was fired and now works for the State at Camp Robinson as a drill instructor or night guard over those bad boy boot camp kids, and with a lot better pay and benefits.
    The Sheriff was later incarcerated along with his wife a couple of years ago for a lot of unrelated misdeeds.
    ....popgun
     
  6. popgun

    popgun Well-Known Member

    I was delivering mail to an apartment house in Beebe one day.
    The mailboxes were all clustered together and there was one woman waiting near the boxes.
    I had a certified letter for one of the tenants whose last name was Gay.
    Thinking that she was waiting for this important letter I said, "Hi...Are you Gay"?
    She looked at me really cross and snapped, "NO".

    I just said, "Ok, they are in 3-B". I went on up and delivered the letter.

    About 30 minutes after I had resumed the mail delivery....It hit me like a ton of bricks as to why that woman was so belligerent with me. It gave me something to laugh about the rest of the day.
    :biggrin: ....popgun
     
  7. ECHIV

    ECHIV Well-Known Member

    Popgun,
    Way bak when I was single, a similar thing happened to me. I had to deliver finane papers for a customer to their bank. The teller's firs name was Gay. When I got to the bank I found a name on a desk that said "Gay". When an attrative single woman came back to her desk I asked if she was "Gay". She said yes, I said "That's a crying shame" and gave her the papers. We had a good laugh and she said her boyfriend would think that was a funny joke.
    :smack:
     
  8. yjjeeper

    yjjeeper Well-Known Member

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    lost
    How about strange?

    My brother-in-law went hunting in West Virginia about 3 years ago. He covered a lot of ground hunting the first day, and when he got back to the truck, he couldn't find his wallet. He figured he just left it back at the house where he was staying.
    Got home and looked exhaustively for his wallet at the house and in the truck. No luck.
    He left the next day and went to Pennsylvania to hunt for a few days. On his way home he went back through West Virginia and hunted. It was exactly a week since he hunted there before.
    He shot a nice buck and after tracking it, came upon the dead deer. Laying beside it was his WALLET.
     
  9. flydown

    flydown Well-Known Member

    5,055
    430
    Beebe
    A guy that I worked with was the coach of his son's ball team. One day his wife was calling members of the team and called one number, when the lady answered the phone, she asked "is this the Dykes". The woman said yes and slamed the phone down. My friends wife then realized that she had mistakenly dialed the number of another team member that was being raised by two lesbians.
     
  10. yjjeeper

    yjjeeper Well-Known Member

    831
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    lost
    You sure you don't live up around Eureka Springs?
     
  11. flydown

    flydown Well-Known Member

    5,055
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    Beebe
    Not the last time I checked.
     
  12. Down on the White

    Down on the White Well-Known Member

    I have another one for you all.

    Back in about 86 there was a supervisor that wanted to check on how the pipe replacement was going on the west line. I was working on a another job but the person who told me this story I would give my life for honest as anything. Our southern region supervisor decided that he wanted to see how the work was going so he went for a visit. That year it was pretty dry and the dust from equipment and trucks running up and down the right-a-way was about 6 inches thick. He drives down in his car( and I say car mind you) and the engine stops. He gets out pulls the air filter and proceeds to the job sight so he thinks. About two miles down the right-a-way the engine stops again but for the final time. I guess he thought it would run on dust as well as air.:smack:
     
  13. How about Louie?

    As a part time after school employee in a machine shop, I found that Louie - the company drunk, was talented and taught me a lot about machining.

    Investigating yelling accompanied by loud banging in the toilet one day, the shop foreman found Louie banging the wall in one of the stalls.

    "I can't get this *%^#$$$$ thing to go up" was his statement :eek:

    He thought he was in the one man elevator that went to the upstairs offices.

    Good ol' Louie. :smack:
     
  14. Back at Alcoa/Bauxite in the days when aluminum hard hats were the norm (I still have one) one of them was displayed in the safety engineer's office.

    It was mashed flat. A worker driving a company pick up down one of the plant streets thought he had a low tire. Still moving, he opened the door and stuck his helmeted head out for a look at the rear tire. About that time he met another truck that hit the door. Fortunately for him it squeezed his head out of the hard hat and squashed the hard hat flat as a flitter as the door was closed. :eek:

    A large hole in the truck seat probably had to be patched.:biggrin:
     
  15. Tony Harris

    Tony Harris Super Moderator<br>2012-13 Deer Hunting Contest Wi Staff Member

    We had an engineer who worked for the local telephone company, not calling any names but the initials were SBC at the time. He had a side job running a company installing central vac systems in homes. He had all the tools to work with doing this but he did not have a tall extension ladder. He needed one to cut a limb at his house. He borrowed one and went home to cut the limb. His wife called an hour later saying the ambulance had just left to take him to the emergency room with a broken leg. It seems the engineer forgot rule number one, two, three and several others. He had put the ladder on the limb without tieing it off (not that it would have mattered), he did not wear nor fasten off with a safety belt (not that it would have mattered), he did not tie off the chain saw (not that it would have mattered) and he did not cut the limb on the outside of the ladder (that one mattered). He cut the limb between the ladder and the tree.
     
  16. fullcredit

    fullcredit Super Moderator

    I cut the wrong side of a limb with a chainsaw once myself! Had the chainsaw tied to the limb and cut the wrong end off!

    We had a kid in school a couple of years ago that told us about trying to hang a mirror. She said it broke when she tried to drive a nail through the mirror. Determined to hang a mirror, she went and bought another one. Again the same thing happened---broken mirror. When we asked her why she tried it again when she clearly saw that the nail would break the mirror, she replied, "I got a round mirror the second time, the first one was square.!" Every time I see that gal I ask her about hanging mirrors!:biggrin:
     
  17. Down on the White

    Down on the White Well-Known Member

    I and a co-worker laugh about this now but at the time it wasn't very at all.

    Myself and the co-worker was up on top of the cooling towers about fifteen years ago welding supports on some barrels to hold them down. We had to climb in and out putting supports on the inside of these barrels. We had another co-worker on the ground taking care of the welder for us. The day was in the month of July and it was hot and what it seemed like 100% hudmidity at that time. We had done got two of the barrels secured and was in the third one and just finished up fixing to move to the fourth. By that time I had done put on my second pair of welding gloves since the first pair was soaked due to sweat and the welder was eating me up. My co-worker was handing me the leads through an inspection hole. The first one he handed was the ground lead then was trying to hand me the stinger when all the sudden the welding went to lugging down. That welder had him and he couldn't turn loose. I yelled at the worker on the ground to shut off the welder. after about a minute the welder was still not down the next thing I know the third guy had come up on the cooling tower with us I finally got my point through he shut down the welder. I asked him after I got the worker who had been helping me for since the welder had gotton him so he was shaking uncontrollable. The third man replied to me he did not want to shut the welder down because he would have to start it again.:smack:
     
  18. fish

    fish Well-Known Member

    We had a layoff and some supervisors got put back on machines once. One called me to help cut a left hand thread as he kept cutting more and gauge would not screw on . The dumb arse had the machine running the wrong direction. Ever tried screwing a left hand thread gauge on a right hand thread?:smack:
     
  19. fish

    fish Well-Known Member

    Same time different ex-supervisor. He kept moving in cutter and still part was too big. He had done this several times and still the part was too big and did'nt know why. He had put the cutter in without tightening the bolts and it would push back everytime it tried to cut.:smack:
     
  20. fish

    fish Well-Known Member

    A dumb arse inspector was on the way home and struck a deer on the freeway. We asked did you see the deer. Yes , he saw the deer 1/2 mile ahead in his headlights in the middle of the freeway. Why did he hit it ? Because he thought it would move.:smack: