Opinions please..

Discussion in 'Campfire' started by THExONE, Dec 19, 2010.

  1. THExONE

    THExONE Moderator<br>Deer Hunting<br>2011-12 Deer Hunting

    I have a 18 year old younger sister who is going to the U of A. She like most 18 year olds thinks she knows it all. Well she went and got a tattoo which is against my parents rules while you live at home. They found out, argument ensued and she moved out. She has been babied her entire life. She was adopted and I think my parents felt like sheltering and spoiling her was a good idea. I don't agree but not my place to tell my parents how to raise her.

    Long story short they told her if she wants to move out and be a big girl then she can pay for her phone and car insurance like a big girl. She has no job and has never had to fend for herself so to speak.

    I talked to her tonight and of coarse she has no money. She says she has food and is staying with a friend but she has no gas or anything. I want to give her some because I know what she is going through but at the same time I don't want to undermine the message my parents are sending.

    What would you do? Slide her some cash or make her tough it out?
     
  2. green_head_getter

    green_head_getter Super Member<br>2010 Bowhunting Contest Winner

    Go get her and drive her around to fill out applications. Rules are rules and she knew them before she broke them
     

  3. green_head_getter

    green_head_getter Super Member<br>2010 Bowhunting Contest Winner

    But I understand you want to help with her bein ur younger sis. Make her learn tho. It ain't easy on your own. That's why I'm still at home.
     
  4. Cjdavis618

    Cjdavis618 Well-Known Member

    What she needs is a Job. Life for her just became real.

    I would probably offer for her to do some odd jobs around my place while she gets something else. That way you both stay clear. If she is use to getting money for nothing, then she has to learn the worth of it. Help her take the right path now before other worse paths become availible. The busier she is, the less trouble she can find.
     
  5. Guitarzan

    Guitarzan Well-Known Member

    Make her tough it out. That's the only way she will grow up. Your parents are at fault for spoiling her. But she did break the rule, and now she has to pay. She wanted to be "grown up" when she got the tattoo, which was against your parents rules. Now she has to pay the price. Independence doesn't come cheap.

    You help her, you hurt her.
     
  6. bracomadar

    bracomadar Well-Known Member

    It depends on what kind of tattoo she got.
     
  7. SR4

    SR4 Super Member<br>'07/'08 Bowhunting Contest Team Wi

    Thats a tough call. I have a big heart and it'd be hard for me not to help my sister, but if someone bails her out everytime she'll never learn. She's gotta grow up sometime.
     
  8. Mr. Chitlin

    Mr. Chitlin Administrator

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    You learn real quick that following a few rules is a lot cheaper than proving you can make it on your own. I still have a 26 YO and 23 YO at home. They know where their bread is buttered. :up:
     
  9. THExONE

    THExONE Moderator<br>Deer Hunting<br>2011-12 Deer Hunting

    She got a phoenix, not sure the relevance.

    I agree she needs tough love. She has some job aps out but what she can work is limited due to school. I like the idea of having her work at my place for some cash. My wife is sick and has to have surgery the 29th so I think I will have her come help her do some laundry and clean.
     
  10. THExONE

    THExONE Moderator<br>Deer Hunting<br>2011-12 Deer Hunting

    I moved out like a big boy at 18. Moved back 1 year later tail tucked between my legs. My parents never paid for car or insurance or anything like that but a free roof over my head was plenty.
     
  11. WillyB71

    WillyB71 Well-Known Member

    The proper time to teach her how to act responsibly has come & gone. Now all you can do is try to help her avoid disaster while she tries to make her own way.

    Keep your finger on her pulse to make sure she doesn't make a big mistake with her new found "indepenence." It's a fine line between being taught a lesson and wrecking your life (drugs, pregnancy, crime).


    Maybe she will come to her senses.

    Good luck with it. It's a tough place to be.
     
  12. Mr. Chitlin

    Mr. Chitlin Administrator

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    My daughter moved out 3 years ago. 3 months later she was back home and still is. She found out real quick that living on your own wasn't cheap, and I was still paying her insurance and cell bill.
     
  13. THExONE

    THExONE Moderator<br>Deer Hunting<br>2011-12 Deer Hunting

    I had a good job and was able to make ends meet but that was about it. All work and no play. Also to be honest I have always been a bit of a momas boy and missed being around her. As much as I didn't like her rules it was still where I was happiest.
     
  14. stealthycat

    stealthycat Elite Member<br>2015-16 Bow Hunting Contest Winner

    I'd help

    The parents had 18 years to teach her life and obviously come up short .... their rules haven't worked so far huh ?
     
  15. Give her a little help......it could be the turning point of her life....but wait just a little longer until she starts to feel the world.
    I remember that age.......know everything but really know nothing.
    There is a period between 18 and 22 or 23 that they can be real stupid.
    I learned how to grow out of that in the U.S. Army..........that will make you grow up real fast........
     
  16. THExONE

    THExONE Moderator<br>Deer Hunting<br>2011-12 Deer Hunting

    I would disagree. Their rules worked well enough to help her graduated HS with a 4.0 and is now going to the U of A on a academic scholarship.

    Also I take offense to the fact that you would say my parents came up short in parenting just because a 18 year old child decided to buck their system. They may have babied her a little much but they far from came up short.
     
  17. Mr. Chitlin

    Mr. Chitlin Administrator

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    With those credits, if the worst thing she has done is get a tattoo, your parents should be proud. She could be pregnant, a druggie or in jail.

    Ya gotta over look most of SC's comments. He thinks the only way is his way and no one else knows how to do it as well as he does. :rolleyes:
     
  18. THExONE

    THExONE Moderator<br>Deer Hunting<br>2011-12 Deer Hunting

    Ole SC don't bother me one bit. I respect his opinion.

    She is a good kid. Just trying to feel out life a bit.
     
  19. Mr. Chitlin

    Mr. Chitlin Administrator

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    Glad someone does...
     
  20. THExONE

    THExONE Moderator<br>Deer Hunting<br>2011-12 Deer Hunting

    Awww heck, to each their own right, Ha...