Divorce rethink it

Discussion in 'Campfire' started by 7 point, Dec 18, 2012.

  1. 7 point

    7 point Well-Known Member

    Man o man my kids are 22 and 20. I figured at age 18 I was done with her. I'm in a text arguement with her right now:mad: over her helping with a down payment for my daughter to get a new car. Fellas it never ends!!!
  2. thumper113

    thumper113 Well-Known Member

    Nope, next it's grandkids. When kids are involved, your oath is there, "til death do you part."

  3. Mr. Chitlin

    Mr. Chitlin Administrator Staff Member Supporting Member

    NE Ark
    Put the phone down and clear your head.
  4. luckless

    luckless Member Forum Sponsor 2011 Turkey Contest Winner

    Too many places out there offer zero down financing to have to put up with an ex over that. Send your daughter to state farm or farm bureau and let your daughter finance it herself, assuming she has the credit. If not, co-sign for her.
  5. 7 point

    7 point Well-Known Member

    State Farm will finance a car?
  6. Delbert

    Delbert Well-Known Member

    Well you would be out of prison by now. If you know what I mean.
  7. popgun

    popgun Well-Known Member

    Too many questions unanswered.
    Did you have custody, and you are trying to get her to help with a down payment?
    Did she have custody, and she is trying to get you to help with a down payment?
    Did you divorce your ex wife, or did you divorce your kids?
    At what age do you think your responsibility as a parent ends?
    Sorry I can't help you, no experience here with what you are going through. I've been through thick and thin with the same wife for over 43 years and can't imagine starting over. I think that helping our kids get their first car just goes with the territory of being a parent.
  8. luckless

    luckless Member Forum Sponsor 2011 Turkey Contest Winner

    Absolutely. State farm bank will finance vehicles, atvs, boats, rvs. Quick and painless. Competitive rates. Apply through your agent. I like taking that route because I can get a loan and insurance all in the same spot. And they have a FREE gap policy (that you pay over $1,000 for at dealerships) with every loan.
  9. hillbillycycles

    hillbillycycles Well-Known Member

    I've seen it numerous times with buddies of mine. Get divorced, pay child support, and every time something "extra" pops up they tap good old Dad without the ex feeling like she should have to contribute. Don't know why women seem to feel that way, but they often do.

    If it were me, I'd take control of the situation and do it totally without the ex's involvement. In doing that, you can tell her to shove off on the subject.
  10. luckless

    luckless Member Forum Sponsor 2011 Turkey Contest Winner

    You also have some dads that think a child support payment should cover everything. Now days most dads' child support payments just barely, or not at all, cover daycare costs. That doesn't include feeding, clothing, medical care, shelter, etc. I hear some dads gripe about that child support payment and not want to pony up any extra - they just ain't got a clue how cheap they are gettin out.
  11. JB Weld

    JB Weld Well-Known Member Supporting Member

    Don't give up!

    When my wife and I got married, she promised she would never divorce me.

    She said she would kill me first......She meant it too! :hide:

    We agreed early on in our marriage that we would not even SAY the word in our home. It makes a difference.

    The OP is correct. It will not end. The divorce is only the beginning of the troubles.

    If anyone is out there thinking about getting a divorce and you think there is no hope, don't give up.

    You can find real help here
    : http://www.familylife.com/

    You might have to do some very hard things, but your marriage is worth saving no matter how bad it looks right now.
    Last edited: Dec 19, 2012
  12. BIG JIM

    BIG JIM Select Member<br>Ol Eagle Eye

    I hope I don't eve have to worry about it.
  13. browning_gold_12

    browning_gold_12 Moderator<br>Deer Hunting<br>Trail Cameras<br>'07

    Its cheaper to keep her..... I tell people all the time Me and Mrs.BG stay together cause neither one of us want custody of the kids.... :wink:
  14. 7 point

    7 point Well-Known Member

    My ex had custody until my daughter was 14 and came to live with me then my son at 16. I bought my daughter a car at 16 but after a few years it was in the shop all the time. I have since gave her a 2002 Avalon that she did not take care of. She wrecked it last week and insurance is totalling it.

    In the past few years my daughter has been going thru a rough period in her life and I've been trying to let her figure it out. She went to college for two years which I paid for and she then dropped out, then she started her wild stage and I had already given her the Avalon and was hoping that not having a car payment she would go back to school. Well the past few months I believe she has hit just about bottom and now she's ready to go back to school. But during the past few months she made it were I had to lay down on ultimatum, which was Feb 1st. She had to get her own car and I was taking the Avalon back. So anyway she had the wreck and now has to get a car. So I'm of the thinking I'm not going to buy her another car because I want her to take responsibility for herself. So since I've gave her two cars and paid for her school I asked my ex if she would help with the down payment. I'm paying $500 of the down and paying the sales tax. My ex said she couldn't even though she and her husband have 2 new vehicles a new Harley a boat and a camper that they just bought last year, but yet have not helped pay for anything for my daughter. So anyway last night my daughter comes over we get a few things lined out and she goes home and ask her mom again. That's when everything broke loose.

    So after getting a barrage of half drunk text from my ex I told her don't worry about it I'll take care of it. Looking back in hind sight I knew better than to even ask her, but I get pretty tired of having to pay for everything while my ex lives high on the hog and my wife and I live conservatively.

    Thanks for letting me vent guys.
  15. hillbillycycles

    hillbillycycles Well-Known Member

    You are correct as well. In short, nobody ever really wins in these situations other then divorce lawyers. I'm not saying the father should not pony up for "other" expenses, but there needs to be some equitable split. However, you do have to factor in who the kids are living with as well. If they are not under your roof, you get out of a lot of the responsiblity.
  16. I turn my phone off for 15 to 30 minutes. That way I dont respond.
  17. luckless

    luckless Member Forum Sponsor 2011 Turkey Contest Winner

    Nobody but the lawyers is correct. The kids pay the highest price throughout the deal. My thought is that you should want to give everything you can to your kids (not saying that you haven't 7 - sounds like you have done more than your share). I can see where that would be difficult though - you almost view it as supporting your wife, her man, and their habits. Just got to keep in mind that your kids are the ones your supporting. Either parent can be dead beat and useless, not just the dad.
  18. Greyhound

    Greyhound Well-Known Member

    I disagree. Once the kids are of age to be responsible enough to make wise choices that will affect their future, they assume the consequences of their choices. Bailing them out (not saying that 7 is doing this) teaches them nothing.
  19. mmcginty19

    mmcginty19 Well-Known Member

    I haven't been married but I have a baby momma and it is just as bad with her. I do pay child support and do not mind paying it even tho it only covers daycare and there is about $24 dollars left after that. I also pay half of the drs bills and would be more than happy to pay HALF of anything else. I wouldnt mind paying a little bit more if I knew it was going to my boy and not in her pocket to pay for her new car or her shopping habit. She is in nursing school and when she gets out she will be making double what I make. So I hope the judge sees that and doesnt always stick it to me. I love my little boy and hate the fact that I don't get to see him more than I do but in todays society thats how it is when you are the man. I wish they would be fair. Her biggest gripe right now is that i don't send her clothes back in a timely manner. So I don't even bother to wash them anymore, I just pack them up and send them right back to her. Hang in there 7 you are doing the right thing for your kids.
  20. luckless

    luckless Member Forum Sponsor 2011 Turkey Contest Winner

    You took that out of context. I mean when they are children and growing and can't provide for themselves. I have a 3 year old and an 8 year old - i'd give them the world if i could. In my opinion - a 22 year old should be able to fend for themselves and get their own vehicle. I did when I was that age. That's 7's business though - not mine.