The opinions you'll get here will surely not be based on experience since I know of no one who has personally shot anyone. So we are all left with gleaning what information we can from web sites, most of which rely on manufacturers claims. There some independent tests to be found but will, in all likelihood, split hairs and give no definitive answers.
For me, I just make sure I have a medium to heavy hollow point bullet going at a good speed and feel safe knowing any load using such a bullet is going to do as much to a bad guy as needed. Stay away from the light-for-caliber pills, FMJs and reduced recoil loads and you should be fine as long as the selected load functions flawlessly in your weapon. I wouldn't even worry too much about accuracy since any life or death altercation is going to take place within spitting distance anyway. An inch is not going to matter.